16. "What Could Have Happened To You In High School That Would Have Altered The Course Of Your Life?"

Okay, this one isn't even really creative writing, this is just me ranting.

I should've been high school quarterback.

My dad was his high school's quarterback, so he could've taught me everything he knew. I could have gone out with the head cheerleader, although at my school I'm not sure I would have wanted to, but what I'm saying is I could have had the classic American high school experience. I may not have dated the head cheerleader, but I'll be damned if I didn't have some kind of terrible, dysfunctional relationship with the hottest girl in school.

Plus, I think I would've been pretty good! My dad could've set up a tire hanging down from a tree in our backyard and I could've thrown balls through it, and then when I got really good I could swing it and then try to throw through it (apparently that was how he used to train). AND if I had played football then I probably would've worked out a lot more! Then I wouldn't be skinny!

Imagine if I had gone pro!!! Well, I guess at this point in my life I'd still be playing college ball, but I would fasho be gettin' looks from like every team in the NFL. I could be staring at a check for $100,000,000 right now and debating whether it was worth throwing my degree away.

Also though, I guess if I played football then I couldn't be at UCSB. We don't have a football team. I would've had to go to some school in the South probably............

But that would have been dope!!! I always say that if I didn't grow up in California I would've wanted to grow up in Texas, SPECIFICALLY FOR that all-American experience. I want to BBQ all the time and eat giant steaks, and have a Southern drawl, and wear a cowboy hat, and have everyone who's not from the South think I'm super nice cuz I practice Southern hospitality. Like I'm sure my idea of Texas that I just described isn't really anything like how it really is, but that's how I picture it so don't kill my dream.

The reason I didn't play ball in high school is because my parents wouldn't let me. My dad said that he got a few concussions when he played, and that it really just wasn't worth it to go out there. His advice was to stick to soccer.

I remember once he showed me a magazine article about some kid who got paralyzed during a play. He said, "You never think it's gonna happen to you, but it might."

I'm pretty sure I called that kid a pussy or something, but that's neither here nor there.

What is interesting though is that my dad could have been right. I could have gotten paralyzed if I played football, and in that case playing QB would have altered my life in a very different way. In fact, I'd probably be writing this post right now about what would have happened if I didn't play ball.

I could have gone to UCSB and become a writer. I could have made a bunch of friends who I know and love. I could have gone to the beach as much as my heart desired, and I could have had a completely happy life, if I just didn't play football.

So all in all, thank you Pop. I don't know what would have happened if I had played; maybe you'd be sitting on a $100,000,000 check right now (which I know you'd love you cheapskate) but what I do know is that I am perfectly happy with where my life is right now.



Thanks for helping make me who I am. I will always be grateful.



Also, sorry to the rest of you readers for the sappy family post. Imagine I ended it with, "...and then it was all a dream..." or something else crazy and entertaining.