Friday, May 15, 2015

23. "You Are A Customer Lying Facedown On The Floor During A Bank Robbery. Describe The Robbery From This Vantage Point."

Christ these tiles are cold.....

The one day I'm not wearing a suit and these assholes decide to rob the place.

I got shorts and a wifebeater on and just about all of my skin is touching these tiles.

I feel like a dog at the vet laying on a cold table before I get my nuts chopped off or something.


But at least the dogs have fur.


Maybe it's a good thing I'm wearing this.

If I was in my suit then they might want to rob me personally.

Empty my bank account or something.

Joke would be on them though.

I've only got like thirty bucks in there.

To be honest, I'm probably the poorest person in the bank right now.

Even poorer than the robbers.



I should be robbing them.



See, what's really crazy to me is how quickly your life can fall from cloud 9 to below sea level.

I used to be somebody important.

Somebody worth robbing.

In fact, there was a time when it probably would have been more beneficial for them to rob me than this bank.

I would've had more cash.

But now I'm here lying on the ground while these clowns clean everybody out.



And I'm not getting any of the profit.........



I can't believe that even amateurs like this are getting away with these jobs.

This is clearly a 3-man operation, and they've got 6.

Not to mention the shotguns.

What are we, eight?

You only use a shotgun when you're scared you're gonna miss.

Or when you don't think you're intimidating enough to get the job done without it.

This is probably their first bank.

Third tops.

They probably got away with one or two and decided to stick to what works.



But you can still see how fuckin' scared they are.....



If my operation hadn't gone South I'd probably be doing this myself.

Still can't believe that asshole muscled me out......

Now instead of doin' jobs, I'm layin here on the cold tiles, watching these rookies fuck everything up.





This is ridiculous.

This is embarassing.












I should be robbing them.

3 comments:

  1. Haha joe I love it because you write exactly as you speak, or like how I'd imagine your thought process to go

    ReplyDelete
  2. What?😳 this is good. I love

    ReplyDelete