Well this is pretty unlikely but this is my perfect day.
It starts with me staring at the sun. That may seem like a bad idea to some of you but we've got some pretty sweet sunglasses up here. Plus it's kind of weird not to have sunrises or sunsets, because in space the sun is just always there. But being the old fashioned guy that I am, I like to check out the sun when I wake up and again right before I go to bed.
Anyways, after my little artificial sunrise, I usually go to breakfast. However, on this particular day, breakfast is a little different. For those of you who have ever tried "astronaut ice cream" or any of that other "astronaut" food, you probably think it tastes like shit. Well try eating nothing but that stuff for two years straight. You almost start to hate yourself for getting used to this powder-ized form of manure.
So, when I go to breakfast this day and I open up my little packet of powder-ized Cheerios, I raise it to my lips but don't quite make it there.
I notice this crazy bright light coming from one of our windows and I go over to check it out.
It's a ship! It's actually an intelligent form of life that the human race has never encountered before! These are alien lifeforms whose sheer existence is something that will change history forever!
Their ship approaches mine and I go to decompress the loading dock. Their ship attaches to mine and I open my doors.
In walk these two things. And they're not like you expect.
They're not little green men with giant black eyes. In fact it's hard really to call them aliens at all. Because I recognize them as cheeseburgers.
They're just giant cheeseburgers moving around. Like, it seems like they have some kind of brain or sentience at least since they can move, but they're just burgers.
They also have telepathy as I quickly find out, and they tell me to take a bite out of one of them. Apparently that's the polite way to say hello where they're from.
I, being so old fashioned, hate to be rude, so I take a nice little bite out of the one on the right. It's so delicious...
And to my surprise, when I look back, the bite I took out of it replenished itself. They regenerate!
These guys are just ever-lasting cheeseburgers!
They take me onto their ship and introduce me to the rest of their crew. And I am not disappointed.
Not only are some of them cheeseburgers, but some are hotdogs, slices of pizza, shit their pilot is a bon-bon! Apparently where they're from they don't have races. They just have different dishes. They explain that to me instantaneously through their mind-speak or whatever. These are some pretty talented cheeseburgers we're talking about.
I bring them onto my ship and show them the crap I've been eating for all these years and they instantly show me pity. They tell me that I can go live with them if I want and we can travel the skies together and I can take as many bites out of all of them as I want.
I debate whether or not this is a good idea. I barely know these guys and I don't really know what they're planning. For all I know they might want to do some kind of weird science experiment on me or something...
But hell, I like science! And there's no way I'm eating anymore of this powdered ass.
So I hop aboard their ship and they take me away. They give me my own private room with a king-sized bed (I slept on a metal bunk before) and I have a window where I can always see the sun. They hook me up with what I think is a roommate, but turns out to just be an actual giant sundae that they've made for me, and I smile from ear to ear.
I check out the sun as I lay on my bed, and I spoon away at my giant sundae while I think about all the adventures I'm going to have in my new incredible life...
Shut up. I think it's cool.
I'm thinking you were hungry as you were writing this...haha.
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